All The Things

24 Oct 2017

I've got places to BE

There was a loud crackling noise from beneath the floor of my 6th floor flat. It sounded like a mix between speckles of granite being mixed together and a rush of cold wind through a hole in a rock. I looked up at my friends bewildered. They were likewise confused, and we all stared at the floor expecting it to erupt at once. Then the noise simply stopped and silence filled its gap. Though it was far too soon to sigh in relief, before a neat circle opened like the aperture of a camera before us. Slowly, almost painfully, we peered in, trying to squint through the murk below. I caught a glimpse of something silver, and suddenly what appeared to be a gleaming metal flagpole careened out of the hole and embedded itself in our ceiling. There was a slight shuffle and tinkle of carabiner. A solemn bugle rang out from below. I felt morose under its flattened brassy spell. A flag slowly was being raised out of the hole, and written on it, were red cross-stitched letters. I spoke the words aloud. "SHUT THE FUCK UP"

Classroom

I took a long walking holiday across the Scottish Highlands with one of my best friends. It was the first extended expedition i'd ever ...